A Close Shave

I had a close shave related to an airplane trip last week.  It wasn’t a “near miss” as some people call it when two planes are dangerously close together.  If you think about it, the term should be “near hit,” not near miss.  A crash would be a near miss.

Anyway, the close shave I had resulted from a repair to the airliner we were to take out of Detroit.  By the time the plane was fixed, we ended getting in to Salt Lake City too late to make connections.  So, I had to stay in Salt Lake City for the night, and then caught the first flight out the next morning.

Honestly, it wasn’t too bad.  Delta even provided a small over-night kit with a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a brush, and – here’s where it gets scary – a disposable razor.

Over my lifetime the art of shaving has changed a lot.  When I started shaving in high school, I used what was called a “safety razor.”  The blades were two-sided, and you slipped them into the razor itself and could make closeness adjustments.

Since then, the twin blade shaver was invented.  My dad, who was not easily impressed by such thing, thought the twin blade units were great.  Well, as these things play out, soon the double blade was replaced by the triple blade, then the quadruple blade, and I think there may even be a quintuple bladed razor.  They’ve added various anti-friction stuff to them, and one even vibrates as a result of coming battery powered.

At home I use a relic three-blade unit.  When I travel, I buy disposables, which really work pretty well.  I can’t say the same thing about the razor I got in my Delta packet.  I started to shave and realized two things were happening.  First, I noticed that the blades were leaving about half a day’s growth.  Fortunately, I’m not one of those black bearded sorts, so it didn’t look good, but it didn’t look horrible either.  The second thing I noticed was that ever millimeter of shaving that I did hurt like crazy.  Tear started to stream out of my eyes as I shaved.  I wasn’t sad, but just in pain.

To add injury to insult, when I took a quick swipe with the razor blade to the spot on my ear where old-guy hair is starting to grow, I ended up taking out a small chuck of skin, so I had to shove some tissue in my ear to soak up the blood. 

So, the headline above should have been something about a not-very-close shave that was very painful, but who would want to read that?

Personally, I never complain when there’s a delay due to fixing a plane.  I don’t want to be at 33,000 feet in a plane that is broken.  Call me crazy.  And, it was nice that they gave us those kits with supplies.  It even included a big t-shirt for use as a nightgown. 

From now on, I’m going to carry a disposable razor in my briefcase, along with a tightly folded pair of briefs and a toothbrush.  Then I’ll be ready for almost anything that requires a smooth face, clean teeth, and underwear.


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