Keeping Up

This past weekend I took a leap into the 2010’s (even though we’re in the 20-teens) by upgrading to a “smart” phone. This is a misnomer, unless the meaning is intended to be that the phone is smarter than I am.

I like to think that I’m marginally on top of things, which is clearly delusional. I’ve seen plenty of people use smart phones, poetically whisking their fingers across the smooth glass screens, magically determining the weather forecast, the score of a game, or the average annual rainfall in Mexico City (32.1 inches, if you wondered).

And yet, when I took my new phone in my hands, nothing seemed easy. The true humiliation came Monday morning when I actually got a phone call, and had no idea how to answer it. I called myself a couple of times in order to figure it out.

You may be thinking, “gee, Peter is not very bright.” I’m not in a position to argue the point, but in my defense, as of this very moment, the manual and instructions that came with the phone are still sealed in plastic. Unlike many people who read everything that comes with a new device before even turning it on, I’m of the school of thought that figuring things out is less tedious than reading about how to do things. I’m not saying that’s a good approach, but it usually works out okay… in time.

I’m astounded by all the things my new phone can do. It will take a while to get used to how big it is, though. The case I was persuaded to buy to protect my phone is formidable. I’m pretty sure that it will survive most anything that would kill me, which will allow me to leave my phone for the next generation. The case has a big clip so as to allow me to wear my phone on my belt which, if I remember correctly, is extremely un-cool. In other words, I should feel free to do so, as any claim I might have had to being cool has been debunked several paragraphs ago.

As you probably know, current phones have the ability to take a picture of someone else, but also to take a picture of yourself. A “selfie,” as it’s called. I don’t like than name any more than I liked “warm fuzzy” back in the 70’s.

When I was trying to figure things out on Saturday, I inadvertently selected the camera that faces the phone holder, and since I hadn’t shaved in four or five days, I actually frightened myself when my picture showed up on the screen. Not a pretty sight.

The best news is that, at least until the imbedded in our brains microchips are available, I’ve bitten the proverbial bullet, and am now keeping up with mobile technology. Phew! And, since the phone has a very large memory, perhaps it will help compensate for the growing deficit of memory in my brain. Now, what were we talking about?

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