Truth

It has been said that no man is an island, but I understand there’s a guy in Utah who resembles a peninsula, and an unfortunate fellow in Kentucky who lisps and has become an isthmus.

Taking the road less traveled is a great idea, unless it is in our neighborhood lately, since the road is probably less traveled because there is a bridge out.

Early to bed and early to rise may make you healthy, wealthy, and wise, but it’s not as nice as early to bed and late to rise, or sometimes rising to use the bathroom and then going back to bed.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.  Also, don’t do yesterday’s work next week, or next week’s work later tonight after the news and a dish of ice cream.

No pain – no gain.  A little soreness or mild discomfort will give you just a little gain.

Haste makes waste.  Waste makes recycled plastic chairs and compost.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. They should also get curtains and a lot of Windex.

If one picture is worth a thousand words, then a 3-D Imax movie is worth all the words.

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but the things that make us itch just make us mad.

He who hesitates is lost.  He who doesn’t hesitate but gets lost anyway is a hopeless case.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and yet a handful of birds is nothing but a noisy, feathery disaster.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but absinthe makes you hallucinate and feel kind of sick in the morning.

A penny saved is a penny earned, except with current interest rates, where a penny saved is one-tenth of one percent of a penny earned.

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but that’s usually the best way to know what a book is going to be about.  So, if someone says that I shouldn’t judge them by how they look, I say, “then don’t look like that.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Beauty is only skin deep.  The beholder has eyes with thin skin.

And that’s all I have to say this week.

 

 

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