Odd News

                You may be saying, “But Peter; isn’t the regular news odd these days?  Look at the candidates running for president, for example.”

                This week I’m not going to look at the headlines from UPI.Com/odd news, and by doing so make the “normal” news of the day seem less odd.

1.       “Dolphin jumps into a boat full of tourists in Mexico.”  That seems only fair considering all the tourists who jump into the water to swim with the dolphins.

2.       “Firemen chase fridge-raiding bear from second story apartment.”  Only YOU can prevent leftovers!

3.       “British inventor builds homemade hover bike.”  What could possibly go wrong with a bicycle in the sky?

4.       “Florida man tries to feed raccoon; learns valuable lesson.”  This one is a video, but I couldn’t make myself watch it. 

5.       “Loose alpaca captured in Massachusetts.”  I didn’t know alpacas could be promiscuous.

6.       “External wall peels from side of Chinese high rise.”  It is now known as banana tower.

7.       “Brooklyn pizzeria to sell pizza box made entirely of pizza.”  Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.

8.       “Uninvited alligator removed from Louisiana living room.”  As opposed to the many invited alligators…

9.       “Paramount Pictures sued over copyright of Klingon Language.”  Next: Pig Latin.

10.   “Menacing monkey steals cell phone from tourist’s hand.”  Now the man with the yellow hat is using pay phones.

11.   “Gorilla birth at Prague zoo stuns zoo keepers.  They didn’t know she was pregnant.”  Sounds like a new show on MTV.

12.   “Australian brewery creates beer using yeast from belly button lint.”  It can be served with bread and toe-jam.

13.   “Olympian Nick Symmonds auctioning ad space on his shoulder.”  Could be worse.  He could be a Chippendale dancer.  And the ad could be not on his shoulder.

14.   “Woman returns library book 67 years late.”  She apparently reads only one word per day so she can really savor it.

15.   “Cambridge area man decides it is time for lunch.”  That one isn’t from UPI.com, but I can attest to it being true!

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