(From January, 2018)
Over the years I’ve archived in this space various missteps I’ve taken. Especially memorable was the time I ran over my wallet with a mulching lawn mower (by accident). But, there are many other incidents that prove my marked imperfection.
I must say, though, that I actually find the stupid things I’ve done to be more amusing than the “fails” that crowd the internet and programs like “America’s Funniest Videos.” Yes, some of the videos are very funny, but I don’t take any joy in watching someone be humiliated, or in the case of some of the internet videos, humiliated and badly injured. Adding insult to injury, or the other way around.
So, I’ll tell you this story with the understanding that it may or may not have happened to me or someone like me. Fortunately, there is no photographic evidence.
Let’s just say there was this guy, about my age, height, and weight, who decided to try out some exercise machines and such at a gym. Let’s say he went during the middle of the day when there were very few people around.
Now, just for fun, imagine this guy looking at an inversion table. You’ve seen the fellow on TV selling them. They tip, allowing you to stretch your back and gain all sorts of health benefits – or so he says. I know an 80 year-old man who uses one regularly so, how hard can it be?
Knowing that many people use these devices, I… I mean this hypothetical guy we’re talking about, decides to try it. He leans against it, puts his feet in the foot holders, and tips back.
Immediately he realizes that he has made a big mistake. Clearly there are adjustments to be made before using this machine that he has not made. Attempting to right himself, unsuccessfully, he quickly reviews his options. 1. Stay there until someone rescues him. 2. Try to escape.
At that point I, that is I mean, the guy we’re talking about, manages to free his feet and clumsily roll off the machine, nearly tipping it over.
Now, if I had seen that happen on a television show, I probably would have chuckled. It wasn’t funny while it was happening, but like so many things in life, I see the humor in it now.
As I said, that may, or may not have happened to me. Fortunately, there is no proof.