Tag Archives: Humor Columns

Sesame Street-ish

Watching children grow up with Sesame Street on PBS left me with some good memories of songs and skits with various Muppets and such.

One lingering memory is of the “Three of these things belong together” song that helped kids select which one of four items “…doesn’t belong” with the others.

So, you might have three types of shoes and a cat.  The cat is the one that doesn’t fit, in case you were stumped.

Following are some groups of four headlines.  Three of the four are from the Huffington Post “Weird News” page.  One is made up.  See if you can guess

1.     Man in Destin, Florida eats entire pizza on death bed.

2.     Tortoise takes in baby bunny on cold night; begins beautiful friendship.

3.     Witches plan to cast mass spell on Donald Trump.

4.     Floridian tells police his dog shot his girlfriend.

 

1.     Video of giraffe about to give birth removed for nudity and sexual content.

2.     Accused drunk driver does cartwheels during sobriety test.

3.     Mother trips over crack on sidewalk and breaks back.

4.     Musician accused of getting on-stage enema during cancer benefit.

 

1.     Woman without arms sets world record for lighting candles with her feet.

2.     Iceland’s president wishes he could ban pineapple as a pizza topping.

3.     “Relieved” family writes scathing obituary about “evil” father.

4.     Hillary Clinton Pez dispensers included in Oscar after-party gift bag.

 

1.     Kid asks police for help with homework; gets wrong answer.

2.     Zen Buddhist children’s book says only, “It is what it is.”

3.     Man vows to eat Jason Segal’s picture every day until actor eats his.

4.     Two women try to sneak 13 pounds of horse genitals into U.S.

 

1.     Florida man steals seven billion dollars because Jesus wants him to be wealthy.

2.     Blowtorch barber is hottest thing in Gaza.

3.     Organizers of protest come to blows over spelling on signs.

4.     Man hammers 38 nails with his skull in pursuit of world record.

 

So, which of those headlines didn’t belong, because they weren’t real?  In

order, the fake headlines were numbers 1, 3, 4, 2, and 3.  I’ll bet your life feels pretty normal now…

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