Tag Archives: weird news

Odd News

                You may be saying, “But Peter; isn’t the regular news odd these days?  Look at the candidates running for president, for example.”

                This week I’m not going to look at the headlines from UPI.Com/odd news, and by doing so make the “normal” news of the day seem less odd.

1.       “Dolphin jumps into a boat full of tourists in Mexico.”  That seems only fair considering all the tourists who jump into the water to swim with the dolphins.

2.       “Firemen chase fridge-raiding bear from second story apartment.”  Only YOU can prevent leftovers!

3.       “British inventor builds homemade hover bike.”  What could possibly go wrong with a bicycle in the sky?

4.       “Florida man tries to feed raccoon; learns valuable lesson.”  This one is a video, but I couldn’t make myself watch it. 

5.       “Loose alpaca captured in Massachusetts.”  I didn’t know alpacas could be promiscuous.

6.       “External wall peels from side of Chinese high rise.”  It is now known as banana tower.

7.       “Brooklyn pizzeria to sell pizza box made entirely of pizza.”  Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.

8.       “Uninvited alligator removed from Louisiana living room.”  As opposed to the many invited alligators…

9.       “Paramount Pictures sued over copyright of Klingon Language.”  Next: Pig Latin.

10.   “Menacing monkey steals cell phone from tourist’s hand.”  Now the man with the yellow hat is using pay phones.

11.   “Gorilla birth at Prague zoo stuns zoo keepers.  They didn’t know she was pregnant.”  Sounds like a new show on MTV.

12.   “Australian brewery creates beer using yeast from belly button lint.”  It can be served with bread and toe-jam.

13.   “Olympian Nick Symmonds auctioning ad space on his shoulder.”  Could be worse.  He could be a Chippendale dancer.  And the ad could be not on his shoulder.

14.   “Woman returns library book 67 years late.”  She apparently reads only one word per day so she can really savor it.

15.   “Cambridge area man decides it is time for lunch.”  That one isn’t from UPI.com, but I can attest to it being true!

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Filed under 2016

April Fools’ Extended Indefinitely

I like April Fools’ Day.  It’s not a holiday in the sense that it’s a “holy-day,” but I appreciate the idea that on that one day of the year it’s okay to be foolish.  Please understand, I’m foolish at least several times every single day, but society doesn’t necessarily embrace that approach to life.

I didn’t play any April Fools’ jokes this year.  I guess I wasn’t in the mood.  Unlike in my younger days, I don’t go for practical jokes that are mean.  Scaring someone half to death can be very amusing, but I know how much I hate it when someone does it to me, so the tiny little strain of morality in me says I really shouldn’t do that to other people. 

But, the www.youtube.com channels that specialize in scary practical jokes are difficult to turn away from.  My favorite is the table with a hole cut into it, so that the innocent serving cover on the fake platter is lifted to reveal someone’s head.  Once again, it’s funny, but might cause a heart attack, or necessitate a change in underwear.

Many newspapers, radio shows, and TV stations offer a spoof news story every year on April Fool’s Day.  Stodgy NPR is semi-famous for some of its stories, including a pitching phenom who threw 110 mpg fastballs, but wouldn’t go in a stadium for religious reasons.

April Fools’ Day is supposed to happen on April 1st, but sometimes a person has to wonder, especially when reading headlines on sites like www.yahoo.com’s “Odd News.”  Here are some current examples of hard-to-believe headlines:

  • Pennsylvania inmate denies hiding phone in prosthetic leg
  • Easter egg hunt at Seattle zoo turns violent
  • Freezing weather wipes out German flea circus
  • Cops bark like dogs, trick burglary suspects into surrendering
  • Experts debate the psychology of “Star Trek” versus “Star Wars.”

Don’t you find yourself shaking your head almost every day at news headlines that seem too weird to be true?  I do.  Many of them aren’t funny, like the violent Easter egg hunt at the zoo, but they do seem made-up.

In today’s news I read that a person attacked a pretzel shop employee for providing the wrong dipping sauce, resulting in sauce throwing and punches. 

The real mystery to me is why so many people watch reality shows, which are largely fabricated for dramatic effect, while the real world (not the MTV show) is full of weird and fascinating things happening all around us. 

I guess April Fools’ Day has been extended due to consumer demand for more weirdness in life.  I’m sure I’ll do my part in the weeks and months to come.  After all, I’m the guy who mowed over his wallet with a riding mower.  Stay tuned!

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Filed under 2013